Pizza Time B!tches!

A "MIYFS" (Make it your F&%kn Self) pizza dough recipe also featuring Julie Robinson a day drinking house wife and her take take on a Hot Dog Flavored Pizza.. Exciting!

A pizza base at its finest. All day 9/10 Unless you do a shit topping and ruin it.

Prep Time: 20 minutes + an hour to rise

Cook Time: 20min Approximately, Depending on how over the top you went with your toppings.

Difficulty: ..Julie can do it..

INGREDIENTS

• 2 Cups of High Grade Flour ( Or whatever you have kicking around )

• 1 Sachet or Tablespoon of Instant Active yeast

• 3/4 Teaspoon Of Salt

• 1 Teaspoon of sugar (To John Carters Disgust)

• Herbs to taste! Not essential but I Like to throw in 1 Teaspoon of oregano and a decent shake of garlic powder. You can add whatever you the f&%k you want.

• 2 Tablespoons of Olive oil plus extra to lube your rising bowl

• 3/4 Cup warm water

WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THIS SHIT? 

1. Sift half the flour into a bowl and add all of the other shit.

2. Get out that wooden spoon and mix it real good. That fancy rotary whisk you never knew you had is definitely no good for this.

3. Sprinkle in the other half of the flour gradually and when the wooden spoon becomes too much hard work, Throw it away, Take off your wedding ring...or not wedding ring and use your hands to finish combining and massage it into a ball.

By now the dough should be smooth and elastic, A wee bit sticky and dare I say it, almost..Moist..but not wet, If it's wet roll in a bit more flour.

4. Lube a second bowl with olive oil, Roll your dough ball around to gently coat it in olive oil and then seal the top. I use glad wrap, Julie uses tin foil because she never has glad wrap, You can use whatever does the job. Some fancy people even have bowls with lids, whaaat??!!

By now you Should be looking something like this..If you're not then you should probably get a pre made out of the freezer..

5. Take note as this is the most important step or your dough will be extra Shitty...aye Adam?

Leave it the f&%k alone and let it rise, UNDISTURBED!!

(On the bench for about an hour or until its at least doubled in size. That means no peeking. Use this time to prepare your toppings & preheat your oven to 200 Degrees C.)

One hour later...

6. The dough will now feel insanely cool! Airy, Light and fluffy. I imagine this is what clouds feel like. Lightly flour your prep surface and remove the dough from the bowl, gently kneading until smooth and silky.

7. With your hands or a rolling pin work the dough into a circle, or at least try to. I use my hands to shape first then gently thin out with a rolling pin.

FYI The thinner it is, The thinner your base, The thicker it is, The thicker your base..Who would have thought??

8. Transfer to a baking paper lined tray or pizza dish. If it's stuck to the bench then it sucks to be you!

9. Mould your crust. If you want crust, But who the "F" doesn't want crust? Lay a ring of cheese around the outskirt and fold over for a cheesy crust or just straight fold over for a cheese-less crust. I use a fork to press the crust edge into the base, like my Mumma taught me when sticking on a pie lid.

10. Fork the base and drizzle with olive oil brushing over the entire surface.

11. Add your toppings. See below for Julie's Hot Dog Pizza Recipe.

12. Bake at 200 degrees C for about 20minutes or until golden and delicious.

Ta Daa, Now go burn your mouth

Julie's Hot Dog Pizza

(Clearly one of her children doesn't like mustard)

"It's nice enough but nothing amazing"

Day drinking housewife Julie Robinson's Hot Dog Pizza scores an average 6/10. I asked her how she created this exclusive piece and here's what she had to say..

"Ummm tomato paste, cheese, hot dog sausages chopped, more cheese, oregano, garlic powder then tomato sauce and mustard"

Thanks Julie, I can't wait to try this......(Whispers I'm Lying)

Julie R.

Day Drinking housewife, Budding Artist, Also Not A Chef