(MIYFS) LOAF OF BREAD

A delicious fresh cloud like loaf of bread providing you don’t f$&k it up...

Sparky rates this 10.5/10 But said if he were to be eating a slice of this, buttered, whilst receiving a gobby it'd be an easy 1,000,000 / 10. Think i'll just settle for the 10.5 though...

Prep Time: Approx 30min total + up to 2 hours rising time + 10 min cool down time

Bake Time: Approx 35 - 40min Depending

Difficulty: Harder than driving to the dairy and buying a $1 loaf but easier than doing the washing.

Key Notes: If your measuring is shit, your bread is also going to be shit

INGREDIENTS

• 4 Cups Flour + extra for dusting

• 1 1/4 Teaspoons Salt

• 1 Tablespoon Instant active yeast or 1 Sachet

• 3 Tablespoons Maple Syrup

• 1/4 Teaspoon White Wine Vinegar

• 1 1/3 Cups Luke Warm Water

• 2 Tablespoons Melted butter (Approx 30g) + Extra for greasing bread pan

• 1 Egg + 1 Tablespoon water to glaze

• 1 Teaspoon olive oil to lube your rising bowl

THE F&%K DO I DO???

1. Sift the flour into a large bowl. Add salt & yeast, Combine and make a well in the center. (If you dont have instant yeast you need to proof it first, see google)

2. In a jug mix together the luke warm water, maple syrup ( or honey if you don't have maple ) and vinegar.

3. Pour jug and melted butter into the well.

4. MIX BITCH. Until you have a rough shitty looking dough. See below.

5. This next part is going to suck balls if you don't have dough hooks or one of those fancy dough mixing machines. Up until just yesterday when my dough hooks arrived I lived in the 18th Century but for just $58 I now get to spend less time kneading and more time doing...nothing. #WINNING

Anyway, Knead the f&%k out of that dough. I dough hook it on my hand mixer for about 4-5 minutes and then finish it off by hand ( <---Haha What a great end to a sentence..) on a lightly floured bench gently folding until a smooth, round, slightly tacky ball is formed.

Slightly tacky to touch but not overly sticky.

Perfection

6. Lightly oil a second clean large bowl. Place dough ball in and tightly seal with glad wrap. Leave on the bench to rise for about an hour.

Rise Bitch!

Your dough should now look like this. If it doesn't you're clearly a shit baker...

7. Flip dough onto a lightly floured surface and gently deflate pressing all the air out and then begin forming a rectangle the same size as your bread pan. The "mangina" technique works well here, Just pull & tuck. A little bit of pinching also doesn't go astray. To the home cook who gives no fucks it should look something like this, to an actual baker it probably shouldn't ha ha.

8. Gently transfer to your buttered up bread pan seam side down and press down gently to fill the pan. key word..fuck'n GENTLY!!! In case your wondering my bread pan is a 22cm one from Briscoes.

9. Loosely cover with glad wrap and place in a warm place for the second rise. It was a tad chilly here this morning so I preheated the oven for a few minutes to get a bit of warmth then turned it off and placed the pan inside the oven with the door slightly open. Worked a treat! Leave to rise for about 40 - 45minutes. At the 20 minute mark steal the oven back and preheat to 190 degrees C.

Rising..

Rising..

Risen!

10. Whisk an egg and a tablespoon of water together in a bowl. Gently glaze the top of your loaf and sprinkle over sesame seeds or what not if you fancy.

11. Place loaf pan in your preheated oven and fan bake at 190 Degrees for about 40 minutes. I lower my rack a step so the crust doesn't get too.....well crusty....

12. Keep a close eye on it especially towards the end & don't f&%k'n burn it. She's done when the tops golden and it sounds hollow when you tap on the top.

13. Cool for 10 minutes or so then transfer from the pan onto a cooling rack so ya don't get a soggy bottom. I personally just open the oven door right up, turn it off and leave it to cool gradually in there as the oven cools.

F&%kn Ta Daaaa

Slice & Bon Appétit

So Soft, So warm, So Delicious